When I was writing the first draft of The Ethan I Was Before, I had one goal: get myself an agent. Having an agent meant that someone who “mattered” liked my work enough to represent it. In my mind, getting an offer from an agent was the definition of success. And there was a period of probably…47 minutes where this was true. I sat back on my golden throne of glorious success and felt happy and proud of my accomplishment. And then the Voice started again. The Voice that had previously whispered: everyone knows that a writer is no one until she has an agent. Now, suddenly, it was: everyone knows that a writer is nothing until she gets a book deal. Just like that, the goalpost for success had
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